Erotic Humiliation and Sexual Masochism Disorder

I want to cover a little bit of abnormal psych with you, just in order to frame the experience of erotic humiliation.

It used to be that any form of sexual masochism was pathologized as a mental disorder, and thank fuck, we have advanced a bit… although there is still plenty of room to grow. Currently, the DSM identifies Sexual Masochism Disorder as a sexual paraphilia mental health condition only if the “recurrent and intense sexual arousal from the act of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviors” results in psychosocial difficulties or negatively impacting your functioning. We have finally come to a place where having these desires or experiences alone cannot land you a diagnosable condition, and instead it hinges upon actual mental suffering. Now, there are a lot of submissives who may very well meet this diagnosis with this standard in place- personally, I meet the eligibility for like, idk, 5 mental health disorders. People with mental health conditions exist all around us- this isn’t an indication that you are less than- it’s an indication that you are hurting and a sign to readjust to minimize your suffering, right? And in the case of erotic humiliation, the problem is often the solution (more on that later).

But I bring this up to let you know that it doesn’t make you less of a submissive to work to decrease your non-erotic suffering at the same time as serving your mistress- oftentimes, like most of the time, it makes you a better subby boy for us, more able to tend to our needs and desires, more study and stable- all the better to use and abuse you, yes? If you are suffering and the erotic humiliation isn’t helping you to process it, then you may also need to explore some complementary practices to improve your quality of life. Therapy, support groups, journaling, affirmations, potentially medication therapy too. I want you guys to view these as tools to refine your service, tools to keep our sweet slave boys in working order to they don’t break and spoil our fun, yes?

Erotic Humiliation and Catharsis

Now, in terms of erotic humiliation’s ability to create catharsis- that’s going to be the bulk of today’s analysis. The utility of erotic humiliation in creating powerful, emotional scenes that can allow us to experience our sorrow, our trauma, our pain in the arms of a relationship dynamic that it safe, sane, and consensual. Embodying your shame, trauma, fears, desires, secrets, filthy thoughts and behaviors rather than oppressing them can be massively therapeutic and healing… but its not without risks, either.

According to Kink Weekly in an article entitled “BSDM Basics: Cathartic Scenes” by Dee Voyse, a cathartic scene is one type of BSDM scene that results in an emotional release. Erotic Humiliation is ripe for catharsis for several reasons: Many times the triggers are developed in genuinely distressing circumstances when there is a total loss of control, many times it can be a re-experiencing of traumatic events that allow the victim (oopsie I mean submissive) to really embody different reactions and outcomes, it can be a reclamation and validation of things you find shameful so that you can release that shame or even revel in it.

The Pillars of Safe and Sane Erotic Humiliation

This material was sourced on yourgentledom.com in an article entitled “Humiliation and Degradation”

Quick note for clarity’s sake- BDSM, Erotic Play, or anything in this realm is not “therapy” nor is it a replacement for treatment. It can be therapeutic, and it can complement treatment when done in a safe and sane matter. Also, despite my training, I am not offering you therapy here- I am just a filthy mouthed, dominant woman with a heart of gold and consider this episode and accompanying article to be my gift to our community, ok?

Let’s look at some considerations regarding itching that humiliation kink of yours, yes? First things first- our community is known for a superior and exemplary level of consent, negotiation, and communication regarding the relationship dynamic. Trust is at the forefront- ALWAYS. Truth is at the forefront- ALWAYS- and please note that means that you don’t say yes or I’m fine or stay silent when something doesn’t feel right. Your dominant depends on you to communicate what is happening with you- when you give us control, it is massively irresponsible of you to do it in a way that is unsafe or dishonest. I cannot make the type of decision I need to make about your care if you give me half truths. Most relationship dynamics include a discussion of your filthy desires- usually in explicit detail so I can know what a dirty little slut you are, lol. This could involve a frank discussion of all the sexual acts you have done, along with all the ones you want to try… AND all the ones that you have zero desire to try. Within the negotiated boundaries of the relationship, control is then handed to the dominant who is then EMPOWERED to make good decisions. Informed consent is really the cornerstone to the therapeutic value of BDSM play.

Boundaries are acceptable and necessary in any BDSM play or like… any aspect of life whatsoever. It’s ok to not like things or not want to do them. However, part of catharsis and some BDSM does involve pushing boundaries to their utmost limits, while still respecting them. Its a bit o a tightrope act, but its done beautifully within our community- a dance of sorts led by the dominant designed to bring you further under our control.

So to summarize this as clearly as I can:

1. Consent & Boundaries are to be explored, discussed and negotiated between all parties before playtime
2. Trust must be established, protecting the submissive and the dominant
3. Clear, consistent communication is required to establish active trust- and this bulk of this responsibility falls on the submissive.

Types of Erotic Humiliation

Verbal Humiliation

Oh, so many of my sweet submissives love a good tongue lashing. There are certain trigger words that evoke feelings of intense arousal and intense shame at the same time. Sissy girl, slut, whore, cocksucker, bottom bitch, the list goes on and on. The trigger words tend to be very personal and many times appear to be rooted in genuine non-erotic humiliation that was almost transformed into erotic humiliation in a very clever process indeed.

Worship/Body Worship

The idea of inferiority and superiority expressed within slavish and servile manners can be humiliating as fuck, and truly gives the submissive a place to put their feelings on inferiority in a safe place, with a (relatively) safe and sane person. Using ritualistic tools such a kneeling, body worship (such my toes, bitch), symbolic forms of reverence- all these things provide the ability for the submissive to pull up these painful feelings and process them in a way that provides some release.

Objectification/Dehumanization

Stripping the submissive of their identity, molding them into whatever I want. Making you into a stool, or a chair with some queening and face sitting (a beautiful blend of objectification and worship), pet play, anything that takes from them their current identity and replaces it with something a little bit lower on the totem pole would qualify here.

Exhibition/Public Humiliation

If a subby bitch falls to her knees in a pathetic display of reverence and no one is around to hear it, does it even count? Public humiliation offers an audience, a public proclamation & validation of your inferiority.

Powerlessness

Stripping you of your individual power, emphasizing your lack of control over your body, your life, in a way that leaves you feeling exposed and weak. Many forms of Erotic Humiliation are rooted in this loss of control or inability to resist.

A Word of Caution Regarding Erotic Humiliation

So guys, as with any risk-taking behaviors, it’s really important to keep a couple of things in mind. We live in a society with laws, surrounding by people with rights who deserve respect and consideration, yes? Do not (get caught) committing crimes, do not make people who do not want to be surrounded with your filth a unwilling part of your scene, and most of all, walk gently regarding trauma and emotional release. After care is a must, yes? Especially when dealing with humiliation, degradation and the vulnerable psyche of a submissive (or any human being at all, come to think of it). Remember, we deal in the realm of contextual truths in our community- during our scene you are a filthy sissy girl who no one would ever fuck, right? But after that scene, after you have been able to embody those feelings of worthlessness and turned them into arousal & acceptance- well, you become a sweet, valuable, precious submissive that I adore with all my heart. That said, practiced sanely and safely with a trusted partner can offer the ability to be vulnerable, to embody and release emotions, to grow as a human being and a submissive, to turn their pain into pleasure, their shame into service, and find value in the arms of their Mistress.

Some of MY Favorite Erotic Humiliation Scenarios

• Verbal Degradation, typically surrounding your worthlessness, your lack of control and powerlessness, and your failure to meet society’s standards for being “a real man”
• Worship/Body Worship, underscoring the concept that I’m superior and you are inferior to me, encouraging a service mindset so you know that what your role is. Body worship is also a massive turn on, too. But I love the ritual of worship- the kneeling, the honorary title of Ms or Mistress, the acts of service, verbal acknowledgement of my brilliance, beauty and the many exemplary qualities that I have
• Pet play as an act of dehumanization, taking you from a person to a sweet little pet that I own. This works great with giantess scenes too!
• Sissification/Bimbofication/Feminization as a way to underscore that you aren’t a real man, making concrete distinctions and taking away your manhood
• Cock Control, where I take control of your orgasms, your cock, where I can deny you, lock up that worthless cock, leaving you powerless and subjugated to my will
• Coerce Bi & Cocksucking, where you are made into a sweet little fucktoy to anyone I decide, tapping into your hidden (or not so hidden, depending on how liberated the cocksucker is) desire for cock or your relative worthlessness compared to other men
• Pain Play, where I truly demonstrate my power of you, making you take any painful sensation I decide you should experience. The focus of this, once again, is subjugation and powerlessness.
• Small Penis Humiliation/Cuckolding, where your failings as a man are rectified in the most delicious of manners, LOL.

Final Thoughts on Erotic Humiliation

I hope I have given you a bit of information regarding how erotic humiliation can create emotional catharsis by allowing you to embody painful experience with a trusted partner. Not to totally dispel the magic of our community, but note that the powerlessness, subjugation, and worthlessness are TOOLS we use to create the emotional or sexual experience and as such… they aren’t as they appear, right? In a consensual BSDM dynamic, the real power lies with the submissive, who can gift or take back their control and consent at anytime. Consent, boundaries, trust and communication are the pillars to a positive Erotic Humiliation experience. Safety, yours, mine and everyone around us is a critical consideration for anyone with integrity.

Finally, please, please, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, put in the effort to safeguard your sweet hearts and your self-worth; you are so important to us Mistresses, and its no fun playing with a broken toy, is it? If you are filled with feelings of inferiority, powerlessness, worthlessness, an inability to enjoy life on the regular- in both erotic and non-erotic setting, please attend to that by seeking help from a professional, treatment, and focusing on personal growth, mood management, and nervous system regulation practices. I once again make the offer for anyone to contact me for resources that may help you, no string attached. You can reach me at becky@enchantrixempire.com.

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